1. What is one example of “small stuff” that you let get to you recently?
One example is the loss of ability to be in the present moment. I have noticed that I am dwelling on past relationships and past memories. I have to remember that those are memories, glimpses of the past. They helped me grow but I have to start enjoying what's in front of me. If I don’t live in the present moment, then I will be regretful. I don't want to dwell on the past any longer.
2. How does your “ego” distract you? I.e. judgement, fear, anxiety, depression, comparison, hatred, anger, and more...
Certain components of my ego distract me from making certain decisions in my life. My anxiety, judgement, and comparison reflect on my decision making. With anything new in my life, my anxiety comes first. I always worry about if this is the right thing or how this will this affect me in the future. My judgment is referring to whether or not it’s important to me. Lastly, my comparison is seen within my peers. I always ask for my peers opinions instead of focusing on what I want. These components shape my decision making but they aren't necessarily helpful.
3. Thoughts: “When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals and to give back to others.”
This quote reflects on having inner peace. Once you have accepted what’s currently in your life, your needs become minimized. Overall, you are a happier individual and you can focus on achieving your goals. As the quote says, even giving back to others can become more of a priority. Essentially, accepting what you have in your life will leave a positive impact on yourself and on others.
4. Do you notice how your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
When my thinking is out of control, I become anxious. I am naturally an over thinker so this is very personal to me. My body tenses up and my mind feels like it’s racing. I try to distract myself so these “thoughts” will go away but they are always in the back of my mind.
5. Can you recall a time when you made something “big” and dramatic when in reality it was “small” and not that big of a deal?
By having anxiety, many of my worries are intensified. For example, when I got in a fight with my best friend, I thought this was the end of our relationship. We had never fought before so I was worried our friendship wouldn't be the same. The reality was that it wasn’t the fight that was a big deal, it was the friendship. I made it more dramatic than it was and in the end, everything worked out.
6. What does your “in basket” look like? And will it be there tomorrow...
My “in basket” represents my goals, what I inspire to be and who I really am. It shows that I want to work for the United Nations and I want to create solutions for global issues. It shows what type of morals I follow and how I strive to be an inspiring individual. What I represent will be there tomorrow and will be for a long time.
7. Do you believe you are a strong listener or could use some work?
To be a good listener, you have to be in the present moment. This is something that I struggle with. I am always distracted by thoughts that do not relate to the present moment. Although I have become a better listener, it is still a quality I work on. In leadership, it is important to hear out your instructor and peers. If you are able to, then you will execute tasks efficiently.
8. Recall a time when you have given, did you expect acknowledgment?
A time when I gave back was when I volunteered at the senior community center. Each year, the senior center has holiday dinners. I help decorate, serve and spend time with the community members. When I give, I never expect any acknowledgement back. You should never live your life expecting acknowledgement from giving back. If you receive gratitude, then accept it.
9. Have you experienced someone else “stomping” on your story (glory)? How did it make you feel?
I have experienced someone else stomping on my story before. I remember every time I would bring up a moment of self pride, they would always try to one up me. At first, I would laugh it off with friends because I thought it was funny. When I realized that the person was initially doing it, I felt that nothing I did was worthy to tell.
10. What are some ways that you work to stay in the present moment?
Some ways are to remind myself that I have no control of the future and I can't change the past. I always have to tell myself this because I worry about moments that are out of my control. I live in the present surrounded by my friends, family and things I love to enjoy.
11. Think of a time when you were frustrated, now look at it as a moment of being taught… What did you learn?
A time when I was frustrated was over a minor miscommunication on my part. I was working with a group on a project and I decided to start it without asking the group. My mistake was that we all had different ideas. I learned that communication is important in any big project.
12. Challenge: the next time you are in a discussion/ argument, let the other person be right and take notice on the initial feeling that transpires
This past week, I had gotten into an argument with my aunt over politics. Although politics is a very diverse topic with no direct answer, I let my aunt end the conversation. By doing this, I let her have the last word and she essentially felt that she was right in the end. By doing this, I let go of the energy it would take to try to rebuttal her argument and I felt happier.
13. Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize you are so very small in this vast world and really your “drama” isn’t that big of a deal?
I always have these reflective moments in my life. I am a very optimistic person and I’m always thinking about the world as a whole. I understand that my struggles are not comparable to others so I am a very grateful person.
14. Do you have a “Mantra,” a statement that you make to yourself daily or weekly?
A statement that I make to myself is “how can you progress from the past week and grow as an individual in this upcoming week?” I try to grow as a person, even if it is in small fragments.
15. Have you lost a relationship because something “small” created a “big” divide?
Yes, I have lost a relationship due to arguments or situations that were fixable. This person and I were both very stubborn, so maybe that is why we clashed so much. I remember an instance where they said something about me that I didn’t like and I admit it that I blew it out of proportion. I realize now that there is no point in putting the energy of getting upset over something that is fixable.
16. What do you hope to do a year from now?
I hope to be studying in my dorm at a University. I want to attend a college where I feel best fitted into the environment. I hope that I can still continue my legacy throughout college and stay devoted to student government or politics.
17. Is life meant to be fair? What does that even mean?
I believe that life is not always meant to be fair. If we lived in a utopian society, it would eventually collapse. I think that working towards the goals of justice and equity is more important than fairness.
18. Do you take the time to be bored?
I do not take the time to be bored due to my anxiety. I always feel that if I am not on the go or “distracted” then I will worry. I have asked myself if this is a coping mechanism that is beneficial? Or am I just running away from my problems? My whole life I have always been on the go so allowing myself to be bored is a challenge that will eventually be part of my life.
19. Have you been taught to believe high stress is a positive thing?
I was never taught to believe that high stress was a positive thing. In general, stress has always had a negative connotation in my mind. Growing up and seeing my parents stressed had always made me feel guilty because there wasn’t much I could do. With being stressed myself, I always feel as if I am in a hole and can’t get out.
20. When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
The last time I sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude was in October. I did this with the whole leadership class and we each had to pick one person. I decided to write to my mom since I was holding off writing to her for many years. To be clear, I waited because I wanted to have time to express how much gratitude I have for my mom. When I wrote the letter, I had so much emotion and love to express to her. The letter meant a lot to both of us.